Sex Taboos - The Sad Death of David Carradine

Sexual Smothering, Auto-Erotica, Strangulation

[Reprinted with permission from Mistress Rana's blog at www.mistressrana.blogspot.com]

By Mistress Rana

Reported by Susan Donaldson James of ABC News online: "The mysterious death of actor David Carradine -- perhaps by auto-erotic asphyxia -- focused renewed attention on a practice that is one of the greatest and most dangerous sexual taboos. Both actor David Carradine (left) and INXS singer Michael Hutchence are believed to have died through a dangerous sexual practice called auto erotic asphyxia. The 72-year-old actor was found dead in a Thai hotel room closet in an intricate web of ropes -- one around his neck, another around his genitals and the two tied together, according to Thai authorities." Access link: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=7764618&page=1

Smothering, queening, suffocation, auto-erotica, choke and stroke, asphyxiation, and strangulation are some of the darker play forms used by people who enjoy BDSM and sexual kink. I have had many men come to me and request these sexual versions. [I call them version and not perversions because I feel that society should not be judgmental of our lifestyle choice.] These versions of sex play are very, very dangerous. Any lack of oxygen to the brain can be dangerous, plus injuries to the neck can occur from the weight on the head. Yet, men will make this request of Mistresses, prostitutes and partners completely unknown to them. Like many kinky sex versions, this type of play can become an addiction, just like the need for porn to get off, or a sex toy up the ass.

Smothering or queening is when a Mistress sits on your face completely covering it with her pussy and/or ass, sometimes while a submissive, slave or partner is restrained. She proceeds to cut off his air supply for an undetermined amount of time by sitting on the face. The play usually allows for the recipient or person being smothered to have the air supply cut off until they are near a state of panic. Some Mistresses tie the recipient up, allowing only one hand to be loose enough to reach their cock so the recipient can stroke while being smothered. Others use this play for punishment or just exhibition.

Mummification can be another form of smothering. In mummification, the person's entire body is wrapped in some type of plastic or other covering, and leaving only a small opening for the mouth, in which a straw is inserted for breathing. On occasion a Mistress will wrap the submissive with one hand strapped over the exposed cock for stroking. As the mummified person strokes, the Mistress cuts off the air supply by placing a finger over the end of the straw to block it, or by blowing cigarette smoke into the end of the straw.

Auto-erotica, asphyxiation or strangulation during sex takes this kinky play a step further. Plus, it can be completed as self-masturbation without the assistance of any partner. This form of play requires something around the neck to strangle the person or a bag over the head to asphyxiate as they stroke or masturbate. Some men use a soft rope (so marks are not visible on the neck after play) and place themselves in a hanging position so they can lean into the rope and strangle themselves. Others put a plastic bag over their head and tie it shut at the neck while they stroke. The dangers of this practice are obvious. If the male blackouts at any point, or has bound or blocked himself in such a way that he cannot quickly release himself, death from suffocation or strangulation is imminent.

In a personal experience, I had friends who used a belt around the male's neck, pulled tight during the play as part of the tease, then pulled very tight at the last moments of play just before the orgasm to intensify it. This "belt" practice is especially dangerous because the partner may feel that she has control of the situation without realizing how easy it is for the belt to become jammed or stuck, stopping quick release. The Mistress was sure that she would be able to release the belt before any death may occur, but she did not consider the possibility of stroke or brain damage from the arteries in the neck being blocked.

A few practice what they consider "safe" auto-erotica. This involves the practice of controlled hyperventilation followed by holding the breath. Underwater divers have used this practice to increase oxygen in their bodies in order to stay underwater for longer periods of time. With controlled hyperventilation, every bit of air that can be exhaled is released from the lungs. This lowers the carbon dioxide (CO2) in the blood stream. Then a deep breath is taken. It is supposed that this raises the oxygen in the blood. They believe, if this is done enough times a person will be able to hold their breath for a much longer time. This also is a very dangerous practice. For sex play, if a person performs this practice four or more times, the CO2 level can get so low they black out. The dangers are obvious if you are underwater and black out, but they are less obvious, if you pass out while masturbating. Most use this practice because if they pass out, in a safe area, they just resume normal breathing while out. Although the danger is less if you are safely positioned away from falls, fire (smokers), or strangulation, keep in mind that brain damage can occur in as little as three minutes. For those who practice this controlled hyperventilation on a regular basis, or who become addicted to it, brain damage can be a real threat.

According to Wikipedia at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autoerotic_asphyxiation, most people who die from this practice are males, in their mid 20s, although it does happen to all ages including teens and the elderly. Wikipedia gives a great description of this sexual practice along with a list of famous cases of those who have died from this sex play. I recommend you read it.

As a responsible Mistress, I do not condone or participate in this type of play. Such practices as smothering or queening by sitting on the person's face are used for show only, and never takes the recipient to the point of struggling for air. As for auto-erotica, a responsible person would never place a plastic bag on some one's head, nor tie anything around their neck.

In the use of the belt, and other forms of this sex play, a person can die from cerebral anoxia (lack of oxygen to the brain which is irreversible), and brain or tissue damage could possibly occur, depending on how long the brain and body are deprived of oxygen. A person also risks lacerating, cutting or bruising the neck, trachea, and esophagus.

Every time this form of play is used, a person could end up with brain damage or dead. About 500 to 1,000 deaths a year occur during this sexual play.

There are so many forms of deep and intense sexual play to choose from. Why not choose something safe for that mind blowing orgasm you seek? Find a Mistress in your area or BDSM group or even a swingers' group, and try out safer yet unique forms of sexual play to satisfy your desires.

Meet me in Person at Treasure Island - Vegas

Meet Me in Las Vegas Next Week and Again in August

Hello boys:

Once a month or so, I head into Las Vegas and stay at one of the Hotel/Casinos for a couple days. It's free, so I can't pass it up. My step-son (a former Marine) sometimes has his buddies down from the San Diego base to celebrate a birthday or bachelor party and they comp me a room, or a caller leaves me his free room from his casino play. This provides an excellent chance for callers, phone friends and other online acquaintances to meet me in person if they happen to be near Las Vegas.

This month I'll be at Treasure Island on Sunday, June 7 until check out Wednesday, June 10. I'll be joining the boys for a bachelor party for Joseph who is getting married June 20th. We plan to make it a three-day party. There will be about ten young men, very muscular, some maybe in khakis, rowdy loud and towing along a very tall, sexy lady (*grin* that would be me!). We plan to visit the dolphin exhibit, Madame Tussuad's Wax Museum, the Gondola rides at the Venetian, and shopping for some bridal gifts at the Fashion Show Mall next door to Treasure Island. I plan to hump the hell out of Johnny Depp's leg at the wax museum, so if you see a dent in it, you know it was me! We also plan to spend some time at the pool and the huge outdoor hot tub, too. We'll be having dinner one evening at Wynn's Hotel Casino, and another evening a dinner show. If there is a sushi restaurant anywhere in Treasure Island, you'll probably catch me there a few times, too.

Also plan to see me at Mandalay Bay, THEhotel, on Thursday, August 6 until check out Sunday, August 9. I'll divide my time up between the Spa, New York New York, and Miracle Mile Shops. I need to get busy with some early Christmas and late birthday shopping.

Keep in mind that I am sharing time with family and friends when I'm staying at a hotel. I will not let you make an appointment to meet me, or set aside specific time for you to be with me. But if you happen to run into me or see me at the hotel, shops, casino or bars, feel free to come up and say high or introduce yourself. I may ask you to join us and share some conversation and fun. But don't be offended if I just say "Hi" and move on. Remember, I'm there for other reasons, and not to see you!

Here are the rules for meeting me in public:

(1) When seeing me in public, please do not monopolize my time or ask for photos, favors, or sessions. I am usually out with friends or my slaves and my time has been designated for them, not you. Simply come up and say "hi," maybe introduce yourself, then let me go about my business. Sometimes, if you are very polite, I may ask you to join us.

(2) If I am at a public event (New Year's Eve Party, etc.), you may sit at my table provided there is room and the seats are not already claimed by someone else. But, please be considerate and, again, do not monopolize my time.

(3) Do not be overly solicitous with compliments. One nice compliment is fine, but when someone continues to go on and on about how I look, it makes me feel uncomfortable and makes you look like a stalker.

(4) Do NOT touch me without an invitation. This includes hugs, hand on my arm, poking or patting me to get my attention, etc. Do not be surprised if my slaves block you from my private area (a three-foot circumference around me). It is their job to protect me and prevent unnecessary contact from strangers. Do not be surprised if they stand between you and I as we chat. They are just doing their job.

(5) Do not use sexual comments or innuendos when speaking with me, and especially when speaking to me when my family or friends are present. I have two step-sons from a prior relationship who sometimes accompany me to events. They know I am a Mistress but they do not need to be exposed to my private conversations and such with callers or lifestyle applicants.

(6) NEVER, never be rude or disrespectful to me. This includes all mannerisms of speech, comments and other actions that may be deemed as ill-mannered. When you speak to me in public, never say anything to me that you would feel uncomfortable saying to your own mother or sister or wife.

Catching Up

Hard Times - Getting Better

I want to say thanks to all my loyal callers. I've been away for two weeks due to illness. It makes for a real short paycheck this month, but I'm much much better now and ready to make all your fantasies come true. I'll be available Thursdays through Mondays, 2pm-12m. Give me a call.

Colds and flu hit everyone. Lucky me *sarcastic sigh* I got a very bad cold that lasted almost two weeks and included a little laryngitis. Laryngitis makes it real hard to do calls, as does a nasty cough. It's not very sexy to cough every few minutes while telling you how to stroke or while trying to give you an erotic hypnosis session.

Just as I was getting over that, I was hit with the flu. Yah, that really bad one, only I thought it was a regular flu and didn't bother going to the doctor with it. Actually, I was feeling too sick to go to the doctor with it, so I just stayed home and rode it out. I'm pretty tough so I wasn't too worried about it. I was more worried about losing my callers for work and not making my bills for the month. I had the two week long cold, then had a little cough for a couple days, and figured it was the aftermath of the bad cold I had, then I came down with flu symptoms Monday, May 11. I was very sick with the usual flu syptoms for the next three days, but had to drag myself out of bed to take my step-grandbaby to the doctor for the same symptoms Thursday morning. While there, the doctors found it necessary to test us both for Swine Flu. By this time, which is now, today, I am feeling quite a bit better. We won't have our results for two days. But it seems my slave, who went to his own doctor in Vegas over the weekend has tested positive, so it's likely we will, too. Thankfully my bout of it is over, but we are waiting for the rest of the household to cave in with it.

Like I said "Lucky *sarcastic sigh* me!"

But there is good news. The strain we incurred is very mild. That doesn't mean it's not nasty. You will miss work. You will have all the typical flu symptoms of a good hard flu that last about 5 days or longer. You will worship the porcelain gods. You will wish toilet paper was a lot softer. You will hate the sight of food for a few days. And all odors, good and bad, will turn your stomach for days. But it doesn't seem to be any worse than most flu days, it's about the same. Total symptoms lasted about 5-7 days, with the hardest days being the first two, then days of pure weakness.

I'm much better now. Not 100% but getting there. And I'm ready to jump back in and enjoy my favorite callers. So, please call -- call a lot please! I need to make up for all those missed days. So if you usually call a couple times a week or month, squeeze them into these next two weeks for me *big grin.* I'll be looking forward to hearing from you.

FOX 5 Talks About SM

FOXSexpert: Understanding S&M
Thursday, April 23, 2009
By Yvonne K. Fulbright

Who does these kinds of things?

For many, the term "sadomasochism" (S&M) conjures up images of whips, chains and leather. It seems like an underworld of incomprehensible eroticism. How can pain can be pleasurable? Who could possibly enjoy this act? And just what exactly does S&M entail?

Believe it or not, S&M is all around us in the mildest forms. You don't have to go to an S&M club to find it. For example, radio stations regularly play songs that hint at S&M.

Remember Aqua's seemingly `innocent' "Barbie Girl" song, which was a smash hit in 1997?

"Make me walk. Make me talk.

Do whatever you please.

I can act like a star.

I can beg on my knees..."

Then there's Madonna's "Erotica:"

"I don't think you know what pain is.

I don't think you've gone that way.

I can bring you so much pleasure.

I'll come to you when you say...

I'm not going to hurt you - just close your eyes..."

It is the tension between power and surrender - being overpowering or giving into authority - that's the thrill. Lovers feel empowered as they eroticize each other, both becoming objects of desire in their dominant or submissive role.

Humans are further enticed by S&M because it offers:

- The opportunity for self-exploration, including learning one's limits;

- Personal freedom and heightened sexual release;

- Feelings of being desired;

- The opportunity for greater connection and intimacy;

- The possibility of out-of-body sex.

S&M is particularly arousing for those in powerful positions, like high-ranking executives, doctors and police officers who are looking to lose themselves in a submissive role. A "Playboy" sex survey once found that 5 to 10 percent of Americans engage in S&M behaviors for pleasure occasionally, while "The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior" found that 14 percent of men and 11 percent of women have had some S&M experience.

Defining S&M

During sadomasochism, the sadist partner, (a.k.a. Dom, Domme, dominant, top, master or mistress) delivers pain or humiliation to the masochist (submissive, sub, thrall, bottom or slave) partner. The masochistic partner likes being degraded, it gives them erotic pleasure. They enjoy giving up control to the dominant.

The power exchange is given more focus than the sex itself, with some sessions occurring without sex. The couple instead has real or simulated acts in which one person humiliates, beats or binds the other. Though most S&M'ers prefer either sadism or masochism exclusively, some take turns playing the top or bottom.

The sexual exchanges are referred to as scenes, plays or sessions. Key elements include: dominance, submission, discipline, punishment, bondage, sexual role-playing, and power exchanges. Interestingly enough, some behaviors currently labeled S&M have been found in ancient marriage manuals, like Vatsysayana' s original Kama Sutra, which was written in 450 A.D.

Sex acts can range in intensity, anything from hot candle wax drips to bondage to spankings to pinching and scratching to hair-pulling. Some also like verbal abuse and humiliation, saying derogatory, degrading, and even cruel things to each other, all in the name of fun. Other behaviors that are practiced and enjoyed include fetish behavior, whipping, and master/slave role-playing.

The bulk of S&M play involves only as much pain as a person can handle. This will vary from person to person. Stimulation never exceeds what the senses can handle.

Since most of us are raised with romantic notions of sex and making love, the idea of pain and sex as a combination can be a bit hard to grasp. But it happens all the time during rough sex: Some lovers may have bites, bruises or hickeys the next day.

When the body experiences pain, it reacts with a surge of its natural opiates, namely the neurotransmitters dopamine and endorphins. These neurotransmitters are similar to morphine. Both decrease the pain's intensity while producing a comforting, trance-like high that takes the conscious self away from the pain.

Safety First

It's important to remember that S&M practitioners are guided by the mantra "safe, sane and consensual." They are well aware of the need for boundaries, trust, and equality in a relationship, so as not to threaten one's safety. Efforts are guided by rules, so as not to dehumanize one's partner and to keep things safe by:

1. Negotiation: The submissive should always discuss his or her needs, wants and limits with the dominant beforehand.

2. Having a safe word: A memorable word should be chosen by the participants so that if physically or psychologically distressed, the word acts as a red light when called out to halt all activity.

3. Talking about what's going to happen so that you know each other's boundaries and what is being consented to.

4. Educating yourselves about certain S&M practices before trying them. Read a good book, surf the Internet or check out an S&M workshop in your area that can you get started safely.

Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."

Meet Me in Vegas Next Week

Meet me in Vegas

A little about me
and where you may be able to meet me next week!

First let me say - I am currently 43 years old, and I don't think I look bad for 43! (See photos below and at the next listed links!) Second: Yes, I am real. For my most current photos see:

http://mistresslila.blogspot.com/2008/04/tiring-boys-boring-boys.html and

http://mistresslila.blogspot.com/2008/04/lovely-gifts-from-foot-fetish-caller.html

these above links show me trying on a lovely gift of shoes from a caller, and posing in front of my computer with a dated paper. Yes, I am real!

I have photos on my Nite Flirt pages that range through many years. I have a two very nice sets of photos from ages 19-21, another two sets from age 30, and some recent sets at age 40. When a caller asks my age, I am always truthful - I am currently 42 years old, soon to be 43. Many callers request current photos of me, and I happily send them. Other callers are referred to this blog which periodically shows photos of me trying on or displaying gifts from callers, or being pictured with a slave. The photos included in this post are more current, taken when I was 40.

I have been a Mistress for nearly 20 years. I began my experiences and learning of tools and toys when I was 19. At that time I lived in Southern California. I now live in Southern Nevada, in Mesquite, between the Nevada and Utah border. I have references from the California and Nevada lifestyle communities that prove I am a real time Mistress.

In addition, some of my callers have met me, and can verify that I am quite real. [See the blog postings for New Year's Eve.] If some of you would like to meet me in-person, you have to catch me at a Las Vegas event or while I am out and about or on vacation. I'm sorry, but I do not meet callers for dinners or play. And, I do not do any real time sessions with others, I only session my slaves. If you seek real time sessions, I can direct you to Mistresses who offer that. Many people ask me why I no longer meet callers or applicants for Mistress service. The answer is simple: I got tired of being stood up by curiousity seekers, those who just wanted a taste of the lifestyle, and those looking for free sex play or prostitution. I am not a prostitute and I do not prostitute my Mistress talents. If you want to meet me you have to follow the rules like everyone else (see rules below).

Here are the rules for meeting me in public:
(1) When seeing me in public, please do not monopolize my time or ask for photos, favors, or sessions. I am usually out with friends or my slaves and my time has been designated for them, not you. Simply come up and say "hi," maybe introduce yourself, then let me go about my business.
(2) If I am at a public event (New Year's Eve Party, etc.), you may sit at my table provided there is room and the seats are not already claimed by someone else. But, please be considerate and, again, do not monopolize my time.
(3) Do not be overly solicitous with compliments. One nice compliment is fine, but when someone continues to go on and on about how I look, it makes me feel uncomfortable and makes you look like a stalker.
(4) Do NOT touch me without an invitation. This includes hugs, hand on my arm, poking or patting me to get my attention, etc. Do not be surprised if my slaves block you from my private area (a three-foot circumference around me). It is their job to protect me and prevent unnecessary contact from strangers. Do not be surprised if they stand between you and I as we chat. They are just doing their job.
(5) Do not use sexual comments or innuendos when speaking with me, and especially when speaking to me when my family is present. I have two step-sons from a prior relationship who sometimes accompany me to events. They know I am a Mistress but they do not need to be exposed to my private conversations and such with callers or lifestyle applicants.
(6) NEVER, never be rude or disrespectful to me. This includes all mannerisms of speech, comments and other actions that may be deemed as ill-mannered. When you speak to me in public, never say anything to me that you would feel uncomfortable saying to your own mother or sister or wife.

With that said, I will be in Las Vegas on March 25-28, 2009. I am not attending this event just so you can meet with me, and I am not displaying myself in any manner that makes me easily accessible to you (meeting with you privately, dinner with you, etc.), however, should you be at the same location and happen to see me, then please feel free to come up and say, "Hello" and chat a couple minutes. Who knows? If you are polite enough, I may join you later for drinks.

I will be at theHotel in the Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino for four days, March 25-28, to help my step-son, a former Marine, celebrate his birthday with his Marine buddies and friends. Your best chance to catch me will be at late night at the Night Clubs within Mandalay Bay or the bars (Marines love to drink *grin*), and meal times at the Sushi Bar (I love sushi), the Bayside Buffet (they have a great buffet), the Noodle Shop (one of my slaves loves noodles), and playtime at the quarter slots near the House of Blues, and maybe even the Spa if some nice caller treats me to it. I'm very tall and always wear high heels, so I tower over most people in the casino making me easy to spot.

That's all for now. Enjoy the photos! And please, give me a call this week.

Mistress Lila